“Too many people spend money they earned..to buy things they don't want..to impress people that they don't like.” ~
Will Rogers
It's a true statement that you
can learn a lot about yourself, not only from your relationships with people, but from your
relationship with money also. Money talks, and it speaks
pretty loudly to others... friends, business associates, financial obligations and family.
Your money behaviors, from how you spend it to how you choose to save it, were shaped by your past. It's often a reflection of the impact of growing up... rich, poor, middle class, or any class, had on you. It's also a reflection of your parents’ spending and saving behaviors and how they made you feel, as well. Ideas you have about what's important to you are your
values. Those values are your beliefs and they are influenced by
things and by persons that have touched your life. How you do things reflect those values. They should line up with every thing you do, on a daily basis.
The way some people spend money signals them as materialistic, but their spending, in such a way, could be an indication of a longing for spiritual meaning and fulfillment... a place where values lie. While money can buy things, money can't buy you love, integrity, friendship or character. You can sometimes purchase a
cheap imitation of these values but not the genuine ones. Line up your values with what you believe and use money to demonstrate and encourage what values are
already there. Money can be used to show your love for someone or help a friend in need, but, if you really want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can't buy.
Before you spend your money, you need to decide what's important to
you. What's important to you will help you establish your values, beliefs, priorities and goals, and will help you spend your money wisely. Your relationships will be affected by the value you place on
money, so it’s worth spending a little time thinking about that. And remember, your values are influenced by your family, your church,
school, community, culture, and friends. Set your family values. If you haven't done this, then you may be surprised to learn that your spouse and children could very well have their own values. Ask them to write down the things that are
important to them and compare your lists. The goal is to improve your relationship with money and line your values up with your behavior, because a good reputation is more valuable than money.
You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.
~ YOGI BHAJAN
The need for approval doesn't work. It's a waste of time and kills freedom. Don't let the
desire to get people to like you motivate your choices and
actions in life. People will tell you what you want to hear because they know why you're asking... they either see or hear your expression and don't want to disappoint you. Did you know that the need for approval could negatively impact your performance,causing you
to procrastinate, avoid doing important things, feel anxiety, fear, and
get stuck in worry? Your need for approval creates immense anxiety about the quality and value you provide and cause you to spend far too much time on
tasks in order to perfect them. Your career and life could suffer.
You waste so much time and lose so
many opportunities... either let the
business go or learn how to live the truth in you. When you first start your business, social or otherwise, there is a craving for
acceptance, but over time, if you keep this up, it could cause you to miss opportunities where, not only is the potential for
reward high, but the possibility for criticism is equally large. And if you're unable to speak your opinions or always avoiding disapproval or criticism, then this could significantly impact your success in a negative way. This is something you can, and dare I say, must change if you want to
be happy in your life and successful in your business or chosen work.
Below are three strategies to help you get to the
place where you'd have a sound
sense of self-acceptance and will no longer need to rely on the approval of others.
- The first step is to strengthen your core foundation... your values and beliefs, so that you feel
strong enough to go with what feels right for you. This way, you'll
no longer feel the need to look to others to feel good enough about your
choices and decisions. Keep a self-appreciation
journal, where you start acknowledging daily or a few times a week, the
things you’re most proud of about yourself; choices you’ve made,
insights you’ve learned, things you like about yourself, times you’ve
stayed true to yourself, or whatever feels right for you.
- Secondly, you need to practice letting go of seeking validation for
your choices. This means you need to start noticing your own language, self-talk, and behavior towards you, and
identify when it's coming from wanting someone else to say you’re
okay, that you made the right choice, or that you did the right thing. When you do make a decision, check in with yourself that it
feels right, remind yourself that it's your choice, and give yourself
validation for just being you, and don't forget to notate it in your self-appreciation journal.
- Lastly, start being honest with yourself when you take on a new task
or commitment, whether you are doing it because it's “right” for you or
because you want to get approval and avoid disapproval. Sit down and evaluate your weekly tasks and ask yourself what's
really necessary and important, verses what's driven by people pleasing.
Then, slowly work through the “people pleasing” list and eliminate them.
It's time to break your need for approval from others and shift the focus to yourself more often. Let go
of needing others’ approval or at least, let go enough that it no longer sabotages your success. Once you move past
this, you'll be free to achieve and create what you want in life with
much less stress and effort. Focus your energy upon getting in touch with what
really matters to you. Start to listen to what you really want in your
life and act upon this to make it happen. Life becomes much more
effortless when you're living in alignment with what's important to
you.
"Don’t tell me where your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I’ll tell you what they are." – James W. Frick
Wow, a profound and thought provoking quote, which should make anyone take another look at how and why they spend their money the way they do. However, gaining control of your financial life really does reflect how you actually live your life. And having a family budget is a must, because it allows you to monitor your expenses and stay in control of your financial future. But, money mistakes are made, and when they are made, you could find yourself drowning in debt with all the other areas of your life falling, not far behind. Why, for one, people, often times, don't become conscious of budgets until they face tough choices in life and two, there are no values in place before establishing a budget. Setting up and adhering to a family budget is a must, especially doing these economic times, but if the budget isn't based on a firm foundation of Christian values, then it's as good as not having one at all. Good news, it doesn't have to be that way.
Since Christian values are based on
spiritual things and not material things, it gives you a positive stronghold to adhere to. But, even though Christian values
are spiritual in nature, the evidence of them come through your deeds
and actions, the things you spend your money on. That's why you need to establish a clear set of core principles or values before you create a budget. As a matter of fact, all budgets should include those core principles, because they govern your financial decisions and ensure effective money management. Here's the good news, before you establish your budget plan, consider these pre-budgeting objectives below:
- Commit to value God more than anything, anybody, or any idea: Christian values are based on spiritual things versus material things. A core Christian value is having God first in your life. He already knows what you need and will so dutifully provide. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
- Write down your personal vision and values: Write down the things you value most in your
financial and personal life; things such as your religious beliefs, your philosophy on money and your purpose for establishing a budget. And, if you're married,
then include your spouse in this process. And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. Habakkuk 2:2-3
- Commit your whole budget to God: Not only does the first 10 percent belongs to God (a tithe), but in reality, He owns the other 90 percent as well.....be a faithful manager. The earth belongs to the Lord, and everything in it -- the world and all its people. Psalms 24:1
- Commit to patience: Take your time when establishing your budget, hurrying a budget will only result in overlooked expenses and inaccurate estimates. Create your budget over days, weeks or even months.....not hours.
But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall
mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They
shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
- Commit to teamwork: A budget will never succeed unless all interested parties take an active role in honoring the established values and rules. Include the entire family in on what the budget means and the roles they will play in helping to establish accountability and habit. Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17
These five objectives will help establish your foundation for a sound budget plan. At the end of the day, budgeting becomes easier when you define your values and align your spending with those things that mean the most to you and your family. We have the freedom of choice to decide what is right and what is wrong, but if we value God we will look to Him for what is right and wrong. This means continuously seeking His righteousness and totally relying on Him....We value God when we acknowledge that He knows better than we do on what we need in our lives. Now, go.... you're ready to establish your budget. Feel free to use the financial educational resources to get you started:
The way some people spend money signals them as materialistic, but their spending, in such a way, could be an indication of a longing for spiritual meaning and fulfillment... a place where values lie. While money can buy things, money can't buy you love, integrity, friendship or character. You can sometimes purchase a
cheap imitation of these values but not the genuine ones. Line up your values with what you believe and use money to demonstrate and encourage what values are
already there. Money can be used to show your love for someone or help a friend in need, but, if you really want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can't buy.
