The Inner Path: Try Being Your Own Best Friend

A good way to move forward in life and achieve purpose and success is to be your own best friend.  Being honest with yourself about your fears and insecurities, and on the need to always reach outside of yourself for completeness.  Not knowing how to handle it, you mask your true feeling in  habits or daily routines of materialism, criticizing yourself and others, using a friend to complete you, religion, more money, a better job, or maybe you escape into alcohol, drugs, more sex, TV, etc.  You may not have given this any thought, but many people seek happiness outside of themselves.  However, there's no true contentment unless it first comes from within. Even today's stresses and demands require a strong, solid sense of self - which is what being your own best friend is all about.  Instead of searching outside of yourself, have fun and enjoy yourself, alone.  Read the tips below to see how you can become your own best friend .

5 Tips to Becoming Your Own Best Friend.

 

1. Be positive with yourself: Develop the same kind of positive attitude and love toward yourself that you feel toward people whom you treasure as your friends. Give yourself uninhibited encouragement, kindly patience and unconditional support just as you give to others.  Forgive yourself when you make mistakes - and reward yourself when you do well. 
2. Don't be ruled by emotion:  Sometimes giving in to emotions are great when they help keep you from causing damage to yourself or others.  But, being ruled by emotions takes a heavy toll; feeling weak... rather than strong or self-pity... rather than self-respect.  Whether you are acting out of passion, anger or using knowledge to lead your feelings, it's up to you as to how to react. Feelings are not independent... we evoke them, and if we're mature, we choose how to act on them.  Make a basic decision and don't be a slave to you emotions.  Just remember, feelings change and don't last forever.
3. Watch how you talk to yourself:  Choose to lift yourself up and not put yourself down. How you feel about yourself is up to you, so if you don't like what you do....change it... if you can't change it....accept it with love, understanding and compassion. But above all, don't beat up on yourself emotionally.  Pay attention to the things you say to yourself, by keeping your intrapersonal communications, which is called "self-talk", positive.  And even when you make a mistake, don't call yourself names such as jerk, loser, fool or stupid.  You don't want this type of self-talk to become a habit, which could lead to low self-esteem.  The best way to break this negative self-talk is to immediately substitute a positive word for every negative one used.  Become a good, encouraging person to have by your side.
4. Meet your own expectations:  Set reasonable goals for yourself and meet them.  This alone will give you good reason to like yourself.  This is important because it'll encourage you to use positive self-talk....... I did a good job... I came through for me... I can count on me.  You don't have to wait on anyone to give you feedback or validation.  And, it can be any goal, small or large, maybe you washed the dishes, cleaned the room or balanced your bank statement.  The fact that you got the task done is a success.
5. Focus on the things you want to achieve:  Whether it's being a great artist, becoming a great dancer, writer or teacher, etc. Anything you want to do.... focus on that.  Don't let the fear of failure nor the fear of being alone or being own your own, stop you from moving ahead.  It's a frightening prospect - until you realize you can give yourself the comfort and sustenance you seek from others.  Be your own boss and get things done.

When you become your own best friend, do to yourself what you always wanted in a best friend.  You spend a lot of time encouraging others, now spend some time strengthening your relationship with you.  All the things you said to others, now say them to you and develop your inner awareness, self-esteem and develop your strong, solid sense of self...now.

The Inner Path - Fulfilling Your Passion and Joy!

"If you're looking for inner peace from the outside world, you're not going to get that. The inner peace starts with looking at you from the inside. Understanding that everything that comes to you is what you are. Everything from friends to boyfriends to the job you get - it's all a direct reflection of what you are on the inside." -- Mary J. Blige

I know the question you're asking yourself.  How can I awaken success in me and have fulfilling passion and joy in all areas of my life?  Are you in over your head; stressed at work, not achieving goals or life is not going as you expected?  All you want is peace. Well, I here to tell you that despite all of your difficulties, you can find inner peace and change your life. The quote above, from Mary J, Blige, says it all - inner peace. Joy is an inner happiness, not an event. It's in you despite the event or occasion.  And passion is a strong desire for something, so make sure that what you're trying to achieve is something you truly and honestly desire. Be sure your passion and joy is not based on you trying to please someone else or be like someone else.  Click here to take the Peace Meter Test to see how
peaceful you are and then consider the five suggestions below to help you achieve inner peace in your life.

5 Suggestions to Achieving Inner Peace

1. De-clutter your life, figuratively and literally: De-cluttering will place harmony in your life. Get organized. Make a to-do-list everyday, placing the most important at the top and stick to it. Learn to make decisions quickly and not linger and procrastinate. Learn to say no to the smart phone and email, when necessary.
2. Acceptance: Have you ever tried to swim against the currents or walk against the wind, if so, then you know how hard that is. Consciously choosing acceptance enables and empowers you to go with, rather than against, the flow.  Accepting people for who they are, how they look or even their beliefs, allows your inner peace to flow better, and that's better than having anger tied up in you.  Be open-minded and accept things as they are. Know that peace is a state of mind, even in the midst of chaos. Accept where you are and appreciate what you have.
3. Forgiveness: Forgiveness is letting go of the past and  not letting it affect you as you move forward. If you don't forgive, then you are forever linking yourself to that person and the situation. And, it will invoke strong negative emotions every time you see or think about that person. When you forgive you release the other person and most importantly, yourself. You set yourself free of any and all pain, guilt, anger and suffering, for they're wasted and negative emotions- and make way for inner peace. Focus on the positive and notice those around you who loves and care about you. Just how forgiving are you? Take The Power of Forgiveness Quiz here.
4. Follow your dreams:  Do what you enjoy doing. You must make a way for a level of belief in yourself which allows you to take the next step. Let go of self-doubt and what-ifs. Follow your dreams and believe the end result will turn out the way you hope. Don't enjoy your job, then don't continue - quit. You are looking for inner peace and if you are in a job which you enjoy, you're more likely to have better physical health, joy and like yourself more . A natural peace arises when you do what you enjoy.
5. Be positive:  It's all about how you look at things in your life. Your perception determines whether or not it's a day of inner peace or chaos. Sometimes we bring on the very problems we find hard to get out of our lives.  What is your goal when you interact with people? Use your interpersonal skills to uplift everyone who you come in contact with.  Be positive, encouraging and inspiring.  Feel the positive energy around you and be open-minded, because the people who love you send you positive energy all the time, you just have to take the time and notice it.  Feel free to use Mind Tools Quiz on Are You a Positive or Negative Thinker? It can help give you insight as to how you think and why.

Use the suggestions above to start your way to inner peace and achieving passion and joy.  Remember, by staying in the present, you allow peace to surround you, not only during good times when things go as planned, but also when your world seems to be turning upside down. On those days your inner peace will be very useful to help you make good decisions and to get things done. So be smart, stay calm and be careful with your inner peace. Good luck to you and let me know how things are going with you.

THE INNER PATH!

 

Tasty Goodness - Spicy Chipotle Shrimp Tacos w/Lime-Cilantro Sour Cream Sauce & Steamed Lobster Claws

Spicy Chipotle Shrimp Tacos w/Lime-Cilantro Sour Cream Sauce & Steamed Lobster Claws

I love finding good recipes, but I really love it when the recipes are from regular home cooks. This week, I am showcasing this delicious spicy chipotle shrimp recipe from a guy, who is a construction worker by day and a gourmet meal constructor by night.  His name is Justice Stewart and he says he is just following his dream. Here is an article about him in a community newspaper, Small Town Living.  This chipotle seasoning is the secret here and they are delicious, I've made them several times. Try them, I know you will love them too.

An original from: Justice Stewart via Gourmet De-Constructed



Ingredients:

2 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon fresh ground chipotle chile powder
32 peeled and deveined large shrimp (about 1 1/2 pounds)
1 teaspoon olive oil
8 (6-inch) white corn tortillas
2 cups shredded iceberg lettuce
1 chopped tomato
1 chopped jalepeno pepper
1 ripe avocado, peeled and cut into 16 slices   Steamed lobster claws (optional)
Directions:
1. Combine first 5 ingredients in a large bowl; add shrimp, tossing to coat. 2. Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add shrimp mixture to pan; cook 1 1/2 minutes on each side or until done. Remove from heat. 3. Heat tortillas in microwave according to package directions. Place 2 tortillas on each plate; arrange 4-5 shrimp on each tortilla. Top each tortilla with 1/4 cup lettuce,diced tomato,a couple of jalepeno slices, 2 avocado slices, and 1 1/2 tablespoons lime/cilatro cream sauce. Garnish with lobster claws (optional)
Lime/Cilantro sour cream sauce:
1 cup sour cream
1/4 cup mayonnaise
3 TBS minced fresh cilantro
Grated zest of 1 lime
1 TBS fresh lime juice
Combine all the ingredients in a bowl and whisk until smooth. Refrigerate up to 4 hours until ready to use.

On The Pulse Of Morning / Phenomenal Woman

On The Pulse Of Morning
by Maya Angelou
  

A Rock, A River, A Tree
Hosts to species long since departed,
Mark the mastodon.
The dinosaur, who left dry tokens
Of their sojourn here
On our planet floor,
Any broad alarm of their of their hastening doom
Is lost in the gloom of dust and ages.
But today, the Rock cries out to us, clearly, forcefully,
Come, you may stand upon my
Back and face your distant destiny,
But seek no haven in my shadow.
I will give you no hiding place down here.
You, created only a little lower than
The angels, have crouched too long in
The bruising darkness,
Have lain too long
Face down in ignorance.
Your mouths spelling words
Armed for slaughter.
The rock cries out today, you may stand on me,
But do not hide your face.
Across the wall of the world,
A river sings a beautiful song,
Come rest here by my side.
Each of you a bordered country,
Delicate and strangely made proud,
Yet thrusting perpetually under siege.
Your armed struggles for profit
Have left collars of waste upon
My shore, currents of debris upon my breast.
Yet, today I call you to my riverside,
If you will study war no more.
Come, clad in peace and I will sing the songs
The Creator gave to me when I
And the tree and stone were one.
Before cynicism was a bloody sear across your brow
And when you yet knew you still knew nothing.
The river sings and sings on.
There is a true yearning to respond to
The singing river and the wise rock.
So say the Asian, the Hispanic, the Jew,
The African and Native American, the Sioux,
The Catholic, the Muslim, the French, the Greek,
The Irish, the Rabbi, the Priest, the Sheikh,
The Gay, the Straight, the Preacher,
The privileged, the homeless, the teacher.
They hear. They all hear
The speaking of the tree.
Today, the first and last of every tree
Speaks to humankind. Come to me, here beside the river.
Plant yourself beside me, here beside the river.
Each of you, descendant of some passed on
Traveller, has been paid for.
You, who gave me my first name,
You Pawnee, Apache and Seneca,
You Cherokee Nation, who rested with me,
Then forced on bloody feet,
Left me to the employment of other seekers--
Desperate for gain, starving for gold.
You, the Turk, the Swede, the German, the Scot...
You the Ashanti, the Yoruba, the Kru,
Bought, sold, stolen, arriving on a nightmare
Praying for a dream.
Here, root yourselves beside me.
I am the tree planted by the river,
Which will not be moved.
I, the rock, I the river, I the tree
I am yours--your passages have been paid.
Lift up your faces, you have a piercing need
For this bright morning dawning for you.
History, despite its wrenching pain,
Cannot be unlived, and if faced with courage,
Need not be lived again.
Lift up your eyes upon
The day breaking for you.
Give birth again
To the dream.
Women, children, men,
Take it into the palms of your hands.
Mold it into the shape of your most
Private need. Sculpt it into
The image of your most public self.
Lift up your hearts.
Each new hour holds new chances
For new beginnings.
Do not be wedded forever
To fear, yoked eternally
To brutishness.
The horizon leans forward,
Offering you space to place new steps of change.
Here, on the pulse of this fine day
You may have the courage
To look up and out upon me,
The rock, the river, the tree, your country.
No less to Midas than the mendicant.
No less to you now than the mastodon then.
Here on the pulse of this new day
You may have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister's eyes,
Into your brother's face, your country
And say simply
Very simply
With hope
Good morning. 

Phenomenal Woman

Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Fall Wardrobe Planning

Well it's Autumn! That point in time that marks the transition from summer into winter, when night becomes noticeably earlier, when there's a cool breeze blowing through the air, leaves beginning to turn,  football season, holidays and wardrobe......yes wardrobe!  Just how can you make a smooth, stylish transition from a light and breezy summer wardrobe into a warmer fall wardrobe, on a budget, of course.

You don't have to start from scratch  for a new fall wardrobe.  When transitioning all you need to do is cleverly match some of you summer pieces into new ones.  Believe it or not, there are pieces in your summer wardrobe or even your last year's fall wardrobe, right now, that will help transition and get you ready for your fall look.  Just remember, you are transitioning, so that means cool morning and warmer afternoons, for the most part, so some of those pieces from the summer will come in handy. Where do you start?  These transitioning steps apply to both men and women, so follow the steps below to get started:

•  Study the fall 2012 styles and trends, for colors, fabrics and design which fits your taste, by going on-line and flipping through fashion magazines such as Vogue and Instyle.

• Using mother nature as the inspiration, choose a mix of darks, brights and neutrals. Click to see the full fall 2012 color forecast and charts, by the authority of color forecasting, Pantone.
• Darks; Chartreuse, a beautiful yellow-green which creates a bridge into the cooling days of fall, think of the green foliage, it provides a perfect accent to every color in the palette. Pink Flambé and Tangerine Tango to heat things up a little, and to bring a calming element to the mix, combine these vibrant warm tones with Ultramarine Green, a deep, cooling blue-green. Also, consider Ethereal Rhapsody, a grayed-down purple that also encourages comfort and serenity with its quiet, muted tone.
• Brights; Honey Gold, a mellow, burnished yellow, suggests the soft-muted tones of sunlight to brighten a fall day. Pair it with sensible and strong Olympian Blue, a patriotic blue that will surely make its way into fall and winter athletic apparel.
• Neutrals;  French Roast; rich and robust, a sophisticated hue. Wear as an alternative to black. Titanium, a cool gray hue, and Rose Smoke, a skin tone hue with a rosey background.

•  Check your closet for pieces that fit the new fall 2012 style and trends. 

• Choose only those pieces from last fall and summer which are basic - trendy styles from past seasons will be outdated and will not work.

• Keep anything that fit the new fall color palette from above; shirts, tanks, cotton knit sweater, short summer dresses or skirts.  All of these pieces can be layered with shawls, stockings, boots and scarves for the fall.

•  Make a list of the basic pieces which need replacing or any you wish to purchase.

• Using tear-outs from the magazines or using your own creativity, incorporate the new fall color trends; scarf, handbag, shoes, hose, accessories, make-up and nail color. Remember, the transition pieces don't always have to be reflected in the wardrobe itself.

• Consider your budget when making a list of pieces you wish to purchase. Be creative - your goal is to duplicate the look and not necessarily purchase the same item at the designer price. However, purchasing quality pieces is a must. Try to avoid dry cleaning bills and instead purchase pieces that wear well and clean well with minimum upkeep.

•  Set your budget and then go shopping.

• When shopping for any new pieces, be sure and consider your silhouette or body type. Use the new fall 2012 hues in areas you want to accentuate or accent. That way you get more wear out of the garment or accessory, and use the neutrals as your background palette. 

•  With access to on-line shopping, you can compare prices and styles at your favorite department stores, boutiques and outlet stores, then follow up at your local malls and big box retailers, for they carry the new hues as well and at bargain prices. 

Be creative and don’t be afraid to mix things up. Trends come and go all the time but it’s just all a matter of opening up and using your ideas to help transition to the fall. And, I can stress enough to consider your budget. It is not worth it to prepare your fall wardrobe and then end up in debt because of it.  Once you have the basics, dressing for any occasion will be a snap for the fall.  Have fun and leave a comment below and let me know how things went for you!

Are You Ego-Tripping?

Have you ever come across, either a family member, friend, co-worker or even a boss, who's egotistical.  I'm sure we all know some one with big egos.  But what causes people to act in such a way?  Is it good or bad and how should I consider using my ego?  Well, the term ego has many meanings; one’s own self-esteem, an inflated sense of self-worth, or in philosophical terms, one’s self. But while people with big egos seem confident and even intimidating on the outside, they're most often driven by low self-esteem and a lack of confidence inside.  Yes, it's inward; I, me, mine, etc.

That's because people are unaware of their ego and don't know how to use or control it. There are, however,  benefits to having an ego, a healthy ego, of course.  A healthy ego gives you a sense of individuality, independence, self-esteem and self-respect. These qualities gives us a well-developed, well-defined, and strong healthy ego. But how can you tell if you are, what I call "ego-tripping." Take a look at these tell-tell signs: 

1. Are you always the center of attention?
2. When you don't get your way, do you change the rules or call foul?
3. Do you often neglect the needs of those around you and think, "me, me, me"?
4. Do you often need the constant praise of others to boost your insecure self-image?
5. Do you feel good when others around you receive and earn less than you?
6. Are you always comparing yourself to others? 
7. Are you very demanding and self-absorbed?                                                                           
8. Are you defensive?    
9. Do you like to keep up with "The Joneses"?     
10. Are you driving your friends and co-workers away?

If any one of the signs, listed above, fits you in any way, then you may be "ego-tripping". That is, you maybe approaching or interacting with others from an area of neediness or emptiness, and that's not good.  It's often said that this is the EGO (edging growth out). It's the unaware and unconscious part of you, and it's trying to dominate you.  What do you need to do to operate from the healthy ego? Separate yourself from it and let your energy flow into the present - the healthy ego.  Practice approaching people with a dose of healthy vigor and fullness; always being aware of who you are and what you say and do.  Instead of manipulating people with a false sense of yourself, try building  relationships with others, being sensitive to the needs of others, and learning to compromise.  Sometimes, people with big egos tend to think they have loss if they have to compromise, but that's not true, compromising is just learning to approach issues with an open mind and by giving space to others -remember, you don't have to always be the center of attention.  Even if you have been operating from the big ego for a while, changes can occur, but it will take consistent practice.  Be yourself; be comfortable instead of all the pomp and circumstance all the time.

Presenting an effective and genuine persona to others, on a consistent basis, can create a clear sense of who you are.  Being aware and present at all times is attractive and genuine. That type of energy is what attributes to openness and allows interaction with other people. Even your appearance is improved, with a relaxed grace of movement, your eyes - bright and alert and, very likely, a smiling face.  So, stop the ego-tripping and get a healthy ego, it's always a positive attribute for you.  Good luck and let me know how things are going for you.

Tasty Goodness - Momma Neely's Pot Roast on the Food Network

It's fall and while the leaves are turning color and the weather gets crisp and cool, we can truly say it's time for some warm and comforting foods.  I was going through some of my favorite recipes and found this Pot Roast recipe by one of my favorite cooking couples - the Neely's. Pat, Gina and her brother Ronnie prepared Momma Neely's tender Old-Fashioned Pot Roast with Roasted Garlic Fingerling Potatoes. Let's celebrate the new season with some good old-fashioned cooking. I know I am. I'm getting my shopping list prepared right now. Happy Autumn!

 Momma Neely's Pot Roast on the Food Network

Words from Wise Women

Some wise quotes from wise, smart and sassy women of history and of our time.

• "Be it known, that we the greatest, are misthought." ~ Cleopatra

•  “I freed a thousand slaves I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.”~ Harriet Tubman

•  “Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." ~ Harriet Tubman

•  People see God every day, they just don't recognize him. ~ Pearl Bailey

•  "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." ~ Maya Angelou

The Inner Path

Everyday we should try to stay focused and in touch with our inner thoughts, Sundays seem to be the best fit for most. Finding deeper paths to our spirituality and just giving in when things seem most peaceful is way to discover the essence of our inner being; or the deepest values and meanings by which we live. We all find different ways to do this; prayer, meditation, and deep thinking through contemplation, are all intended to develop our inner life. Yes, develop our inner life.
 Most people are too busy with their lives to give any attention to development of something that seems to there already. Sometimes we just need to stop and smell the roses and give in to the small things that make a different. Think of spirituality or the inner path as a source of inspiration or orientation in life.

Sometimes finding that inner path is just a matter of nurturing our thoughts, emotions, words and actions  for peace and harmony.  What better way to spend the day in prayer or meditation when we have struggled all week over issues and problems we have no answers for; why we are here, what happens when we die or even when we become moved by values such as beauty, love, or creativity that seem to reveal a meaning or power beyond us and the world.

The inner path could be as simple as taking a walk in the park alone or with a partner or reading a book about subjects which have a calming affect on your soul such as books on ancient and modern philosophers of time. I like food and sometimes for inner peace I take the simple pleasures in food instead of the fancy and more ornate meals and recipes, there is a lot of gratitude in the simple things in life. Also, try and go without luxuries on a Sunday, such as the telephone or the Ipad. It will certainly put you at peace and humble you knowing that we didn't always have these things.  I wish you a happy Sunday and hoping you find your inner path.

Free ebooks - Reading is for Everyone

FREE ebooks

Reading for a purpose we know, but remember that reading for fun is also a good thing. Do you read often? Do you share reading with others? Can you afford to buy books in this economy? I have found that free ebooks make it easier to love reading and share reading with others.  And, in these lingering economic times, we can still keep good reading in the budget.

There are all genres of books from adults to kids. Did you know that almost half of 3 to 5 year-olds aren’t read to daily and since the reader's prior knowledge, experiences, and attitude, all playing a part on how well children learn to read, makes getting an early start even more important, even if they are reading, yet. Adults can have a bigger impact too because if children see their parents reading a variety of reading books and other reading material, they are likely to as well.

Many educators believe that students need to learn to comprehend the text even before they can read it on their own, so that is why reading to children at an early age is important. Reading is fundamental and continuous practice, development, and refinement is needed. Reenforce the right to read by taking advantage of used and free books, including ebooks. Reading is for everyone and there is no excuse to learning to read or just wanting to read for fun.  Below are some websites that offer ebooks:

• http://www.free-ebooks.net/
• http://www.getfreeebooks.com/ 
• http://www.gutenberg.org/

Welcome to my blog!

Welcome to my lifestyle blog! The articles appearing on this blog will empower women and inspire and encourage them to set values and goals in their lives and focuses mainly on spiritual and personal development, personal finance, nutrition, fitness, fashion,  as well as other related subjects.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Believe In Yourself

© Sagar Satpathy

Believe in yourself and you can achieve,
Things you never thought possible.
Believe in yourself and you can discover,
New talents hidden inside you.

Believe in yourself and you can reach,
New high that you thought immeasurable.
Believe in yourself and you can elucidate,
The problem that defy every solution.

Believe in yourself and you can tackle,
The hardest of all situations.
Believe in yourself and you can make,
The complicated things seem simple.

Believe in yourself and you can enjoy,
The beauty of the nature's creation.
Believe in yourself and you can learn,
Skill of gaining knowledge from experience.

Believe in yourself and you can discern,
New depths in your life.
Believe in yourself and you can perform,
Way beyond your expectations.

Believe in your aim and work towards it,
With elation, determination and dedication.
Believe in yourself and you’ll feel blessed,
As you are the god’s special creation.